Great lesson last night. I was back on my usual lesson horse. The weather was cool and clear, and both she and I were feeling good! She was the right amount of forward, and carrying herself better and more actively than usual. She wasn't heavy in my hands at all, except after a few downwards transitions, and it was pretty short-lived.
We worked on some trot poles (including some cavaletti on the lowest side -- so a bit higher than just a groundpole) which I had done the previous week with my coach's big gelding, but of course, it was a lot smoother for me, being back on the horse I'm used to. My coach told it was the best pole work I'd ridden, so that was great. I'm getting better at lengthening/enlarging my post to go with her more exaggerated motion over them. She also rounded nicely and lifted her back on my last trip over them. I also made a point of looking up at the fence beyond the poles once we were headed for them. Looking up never being a BAD thing at any point in riding!! Also did some serpentines, which felt good and are generally improving.
Canter work felt pretty good, though I was stiff in my lower back and my knees. This is not unusual for me. I need to put some more time in, getting the feeling back that started clicking for me a few weeks ago, where I was sort of able to "sit up" on top of the roll of the canter, and let me heels drop in rhythm with it to absorb some of the shock and keep my butt in the saddle. We did some circles, including spiraling in and out on one of them, plus a few flying changes across the diagonal -- which were better one way than the other, but that's usual with this mare. They feel much more organized for me lately, even if they don't always happen right away when I push that button.
So... The bad. Well, let's not say bad. We'll say it's good that we've identified what needs to be worked on. Given my canter "yips" lately, I asked my coach, Can we try something? I trotted around the ring on a completely loose rein. Not bad, not bad. She had me go up into canter, and I kind of... fell apart again. Without that fairly firm rein contact, I want to hunch forward, lose my seat, and go into defensive mode. I don't think I actually NEED the reins to balance myself, and I don't feel like I'm actually using them that way when I canter -- but this mare pushes so heavily into the bridle that it's hard to say for sure whether or not I am, normally! It kept happening when I'd try -- even though her canter was quite nice and she had more self carriage than she usually does -- so it was time to get on the longe line.
Unfortunately... I don't have a lot of comfort riding on the longe. I think it's great theoretically, and I'd do a LOT of it with students if I were teaching, I think, but I haven't done much myself. Something about going around that small circle, totally giving up rein control, is figuratively and literally dizzying to me, and I feel like I have MORE tension instead of less, at least until I can start to ease into it. I relaxed well enough into the trot work once we'd done a bit, but I couldn't do any canter at all without at least one hand gripping the saddle. Again, I don't think I NEEDED to hang on, but my body panics without that rein connection and tenses up and shuts down. I was sort of almost maybe starting to get it one way? But mannnn.
When I had those jumping lessons in North Bay back in the spring, I had no trouble cantering around on a very light contact, so this is something new and I think it's been set off by a few things this summer. I think my weird ride on the big gelding has made it more acute and now I'm overthinking things. Whatever the case, and however much it's either mental or phsyical (though I think it's about 90% mental) I want to work on fixing it.
My current plan to address this:
-No-stirrups trot work to increase the security of my seat at a gait I'm comfortable in.
-Getting the canter WITH contact, and working on softening my back and hips, and dropping my heels in rhythm with it to keep my seat connection
-Letting my reins out once I'm already in a good canter, for however long I can sustain it and stay relaxed. I'll start with the centre portion of the long side and build from there.
-Stretching and core work at home (ughhhh) which I really, really need to do anyhow.
I'm having a lesson tomorrow morning with my best friend and one of the people with whom I've ridden the longest! It's with the coach who had me on a loose, soft rein in the winter, so it'll be interesting to see what happens there. Will I be able to keep it together? I think so! And if not, I won't beat myself up. Again, I'm going to see it as a positive to have discovered this new hole in my riding before it gets any more entrenched! I'm riding for the enjoyment of the process -- finding and fixing this kind of thing is hard and a little bit scary, but it's what it's all about.
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