Saturday, July 28, 2018

More post catch-up

June 14

I have a few rides to catch up on here, but just wanted to quickly report that I had a non-lesson ride on M, and she spooked not once but twice late into the ride. I know some rabbits were hanging out in the grass by the arena. I didn't see them at the time, but I guess she did! Or something!

They weren't HUGE spooks but I felt that adrenaline surge in her body and she sort of half-shied and "zinged" forward in the trot we were in both times. I kept my seat completely, but most importantly, I kept my cool!!


Riding out spooks without freaking out is a big deal to me. As a "re-rider" I haven't had to deal with them much -- thankfully -- but as a result, even the very prospect of spooking has been building up in my brain as a BIG DEAL and a potential CATASTROPHE. Small to moderate spooks like these happening -- and doing nothing whatsoever to unseat me -- is actually amazing for my confidence right now! So between these and a spook on her last week during high winds, I'm feeling a lot better about my ability to cope.


Phewwwwwww!!!



June 21

Two weeks ago: a windy, stormy, rainy-day ride on M, my usual lesson horse. She was unusually spooky, due to the system coming in, so I hopped off, lunged her, got back on and had a really nice ride despite crappy conditions. I rode her very collected, on a small circle, and we worked on many MANY transitions. At one point she gave me a not-intentionally-asked-for walk-to-collected-canter transition that was so delightful despite being unexpected that I laughed out loud. Lovely moment, lovely ride!


A week and a half ago: my best friend, whom I used to take lessons with in my teen riding years, came up to visit and we went for two lessons together. I watched her in a private lesson, during which she rode M. She did spectacularly! Lots of canter work, including flying changes and counter canter. There was visible improvement in her technique within just one lesson, which was super cool! She did brilliantly, and it was hard to believe it was her first time on that horse. It was great, too, to see a full lesson with someone else riding M. I rarely get to SEE her ridden -- just experience it -- so it was very cool to watch! I saddled up Lina afterwards, but she was sore from a trim and I had to abort the lesson and put her away. The next day my friend and I shared a semi-private lesson. I rode Pecan, the cute little paint school-horse, who was quite pleasant for the most part, though I had to get much more aggressive than I would have liked to get a canter out of her. And I really didn't like her canter, though I remembered it as pretty smooth from the first time I rode her, two and a half years before. Also, she would fake me out to avoid the transition, rolling her shoulders in trot, instead. Strange but creative evasion!


A week-ish ago: a non-lesson ride on M, during which I was VERY stiff in canter, but I also had some nasty PMS going on and was about to suffer through several consecutive days of worse-than-usual symptoms and exhaustion, so that may have been a factor. Sitting trot was ON, though! So that was great. She did SPOOK twice at rabbits, but I actually sat both spooks just fine and did NOT panic. Which is HUGE for me, as I often spook worse than the horse!


Earlier this week: I had a lesson on M. I honestly can't remember exactly what we worked on. My week has been so crazy with work that my brain is not retaining a lot of short-term memory. :/ There were trot serpentines, flying changes in the canter, some shortening and lengthening. Canter to walk to canter transition on circles, changing directions and alternating leads. I was a bit stiff and sore still, but again, lady problems. :/ Definitely felt like I had lost some riding fitness lately. And she felt a bit less sensitive to seat aids, which isn't surprising as she has a lot more riders now that the lesson season is well under way. Had another nice compliment from my coach about how I do such a nice job tuning her up when I ride her.


Today: I went out this morning and did a non-lesson ride on Lina. It was SO MUCH BETTER, even though I haven't tried her in weeks (other than that almost-lesson when she was too sore). My seat was better, my leg was better, I kept my stirrups. I started to get a feel for what her transitions and motion are like. Also, for which things are me having problems as a rider, and which things are her having schooling problems. I used bungee reins on her, which helped IMMENSELY with how much she likes to fling her head around. They weren't "holding" her in place by any means, but they did give her some consistent faux-contact that kept her nicely settled and let me worry less about CONSTANTLY adjusting my hands and reins. It was a really nice ride! I rode her until she was a nice, relaxed, pleasant type of tired. She had a workout, I had a workout, and it was a good note to end on. I actually felt less out of shape today, so it's possible my body really was just being awful to me over the previous week! Hooray!



June 21

Oh, now I remember! We did a bunch of lateral work in trot in my recent lesson on Elle, too. Lots of leg yielding and shoulder-in. Finally getting the hang of them. Sort of. Except I was getting the hang of shoulder-in TOO much apparently because I was making the angle a little... toooo dramatic. Definitely four-tracking. Whoops. So we toned that down and the horse and I didn't work quite so hard! Reversing is getting better, too, and I'm starting to feel which leg to ask for based on how she's standing. Much smoother. Much straighter. Sweeet.


June 24

I went out for another ride on Elle the other morning. It was just a quick one as the horses were being moved that morning and I didn't want to hold anything up. So I made it count by doing lots and lots and LOTS and lots of transitions.


It was a decent ride but things weren't totally clicking as much as they were earlier in the year. She's gotten a lot heavier in the bridle again. This used to be a thing with her, but she got a LOT better over the winter as her fitness increased, and as I got a lot better adjusting her speed and motion with my seat. I was her only rider for most of six months, so I got a lot fitter too, and we got very synced up and I could get a downwards transition out of her just by a very slight blocking with the backs of my thighs. However, as she IS a school horse, with the spring and summer getting rolling she's had more riders on her and she's not as sensitive off the seat aids. A little disappointing, as they were like BUTTER there for a while, but she isn't my personal horse and she has a very important job to do! It's flattering to be the designated tune-up rider for her now, at least, so I'm taking the role seriously and it's good for me too. I've discovered that early morning rides are the perfect way to get around my stupidly busy schedule, so I should be able to get out there a lot more often now, and hopefully I can get back some of the riding fitness I've lost this year.

Maybe it's a weird thing to say, but it's almost.... a mark of progress that in some ways my riding is getting WORSE? Hear me out. Because I was SO rusty as a re-rider, when I started three years ago, my improvement has been very very steady. Sure, there's been some got-it-lost-it, but over all, better and better. The fact that I was riding better this spring, and am now not quite as good... shows that, perhaps, that initially HUGE learning/fitness curve isn't so steep at this point. And that the title of this blog is true: I'm not a "re-rider" anymore, but a fairly competent and reasonably fit *current* rider whose fitness and technique is going to have little ups and downs over time. There's a lot more to learn and I'm sure I'll keep improving year over year, but in some ways I feel like I've finally "arrived."



July 1

Back on Tuesday, I spontaneously hit up a local friend, whom I do not see often enough at all anymore, and we went out for a mid-day trail ride on her lovely, bombproof little trail horses. She has lots of woods and trails on her property, and some nearby fields she has permission to cut through, too. It was a perfect sunny day, hot but not too hot, not too humid. She rode her little paint gelding who is an ex-reiner, and I rode the mare she bought a year and a bit ago, whom I've been dying to try out. This mare reminds me a lot of my old horse. Similar build -- not big, but long and low, and rides "bigger" than her size in a really nice way. Great personality in this horse and a very good brain. Nice movement, too, with a big step in her hind legs and a nice swing in her body. I suspected she'd be a joy to ride and she was even better than I had hoped!

Haha, if her horse goes missing, I'm sure I'll be the first door she'll come knocking on.

The trails were a bit challenging, with some steep parts and some downed trees across the trail in a LOT of places. The horses didn't care whatsoever, and stepped quietly over everything. Neither one put a foot wrong the entire time, and it was nice to just take deep breaths and RELAX on the trail! I normally ride English, but we had Western saddles on and I was glad we did. I probably could have stuck it all in an English saddle but having the high pommel in front was nice security on the downhill parts -- especially when the little mare decided that mid-way down a steep incline was a great time to suddenly drop her head and have a snack!!!

The horses got poked by a lot of branches and twigs, and at one point her horse got a huge stick stuck in his tail, flipping and dragging along behind him. Did. Not. Care. Just... wow!!! While the horses I ride in my lessons, and in the ring, are *pretty* good at keeping their cool, I can't imagine any of them having NO reaction to being scraped and jabbed by branches... or peacefully dragging a hunk of tree along!! She really does have lovely, solid horses, and I'm impressed and a bit jealous!


My body mostly handled the ride well despite not being used to the varied terrain anymore. The only thing that was bothering me was, when I first got on, the saddle did shift a bit to the left and even though I shifted it back and it *seemed* centred the whole ride, it's like my body wanted to keep trying to shift it back to the right anyhow, and my right leg got stiff and uncomfortable. This is occasionally a "thing" with me but it wasn't dramatic or anything. All in all I rode quite balanced and relaxed, and the whole thing just felt wonderful! Usually I'm at least a BIT nervous on the trail, especially on horses I don't know really well or in challenging brush like this, but I was fine. So nice to have a lot of my riding anxiety getting better.



July 3

This morning I went out to ride, finally, after nearly a week off. Work was absolutely insane, and the massive wave of heat and humidity did not make riding an appealing prospect for man or beast. And even though it's a scorcher here still, this morning wasn't too bad so off I went.

Now, last night I had texted my coach about coming out this morning, and she told me M was already booked for some lessons to
day, so I should ride Lina instead. Totally fine. I still want more miles on horses that I'm not as used to, and the more variety I'm getting, the less it's weirding me out when I do have to switch things up.

Got out there, my coach was gone for the morning so I grabbed Lina from the VERY back of the field, dragged her into the barn with her sloooowwww-walking behind me, and tacked her up. Now, I noticed that M was in a stall for some reason even though most of the other horses were out. I thought that was weird but assumed there must be some reason, and I went ahead and tacked up.


Well, JUST as I was done and leading Lina out, I noticed a note on the whiteboard saying things had changed and that I could ride M instead this morning, and that's why she was inside. You know -- to save me from having to go catch her from the back of the field. *MASSIVE FACEPALM* I didn't have time at that point to switch horses, as I had to get to work after my ride, so I went ahead and rode Lina while M stewed in her stall, wondering what in the heck she was doing inside on a beautiful day. (Sorry M!)


I've been using bungee reins over the poll and through the bit on Lina. MASSIVE improvement. I know some people don't like them as a training tool, but man oh man, what a different on this little mare. She has a short neck, high head, and will often dart and wing her head around all over the place when you ride her. It's almost impossible to keep a steady contact, and the more she moves around the worse it gets -- so then she moves MORE. Augh! With the bungee reins... peace and quiet. They provide a steady elastic contact, and as she can't evade it she doesn't try, and we're both MUCH happier. She goes rounded and quiet and stays focused.


We did lots of walk and trot transitions to get us both warmed up and paying attention. She was in a much better mood than the last time I rode her, when she was getting cranky and pinning her ears at time. She did have a little bit of muscle soreness (just normal "post-workout" soreness) the previous time and was not appreciating it when I sat the trot. Today, though, sitting her trot was lovely and she didn't seem to mind a bit.


Transitions today where better too, and she didn't try to reef on the reins coming back down out of canter. Not at all. So that was awesome. She has quite a SPROING going from walk to trot, that surprised me a few times today, but her trot to canter actually felt a lot smoother this time. Whether they were better today, or I'm just getting used to them, I'm not sure. Her canter was a lot easier to get and stay with today and quite pleasant. I'm still riding it in a half seat for the most part, but I did sit a little deeper with it at times today.


She has different sensitivity levels to certain aids, and I'm still getting used to that. When I'm turning and I lift my inside rein and push her ribs over with my inside leg to get bend, she'll actually move right over, so our turns were a bit more dramatic than necessary, hahaha, but it's nice that she was so responsive.


Another cool things today: got all the leads right! Her right lead can be tricky to get, but today, correct every time!


She did start to wing her head around at walk near the very end of the ride, I think as her way of saying "Okay I'm tired let's pack it in." I was mean and made her trot every time she did that. Would come back down when she relaxed. Then trot again the next time... Did this a LOT. Ugh. Eventually picked a nice quiet walk moment to hop off and call it a day.


Brought her back in, untacked her, and let her and poor impatient M back out for the day.



July 5

Well, I guess not every ride is going to be sparkles and fairy dust.

This morning I rode M for the first time in over a week. There's still a pretty bad heatwave hanging around here, but I rode early enough that it was "normal" levels of summer heat, and had not yet become "constant dripping sweat and death" levels of heat and humidity.


I went into the ride with the intention of doing some no-stirrups work somewhere in the last half... but M went from her usually agreeable-ish self to a massive crankypants not quite half way through the ride. I don't know if she was tired, or having a problem with the heat, or if she was just having a "day." But she threw one of her favourite tantrums for most of the ride, which she hasn't done with me since last year! She leeeeeeeaaaannnns heavily on the bit, gets her weight down on the forehand, and BARGES around, strong and fast. Still more or less doing what you ask -- if you want trot, for examples, she BARGES AROUND in trot. If you want canter, she BARGES AROUND in a fast, heavy, choppy canter. Blows off any of the smaller leg aids and reins aids and you have no choice but to yank her back very impolitely.


There are ways to school her through this (or at least improve it) but I didn't push her too hard as it really was getting a lot hotter as we rode and, I suppose, she was allowed to have an opinion in those conditions. Plus we had a bit of a vicious cycle going in canter, where her angry, stiff, heavy, choppy canter was making me bounce in the saddle like a jackhammer, which surely made her canter actually worse. Blurgh. Needless to say, we at no point did any no-stirrups work.


I still enjoyed myself, and it was in many ways a good and productive ride... Even practiced some shoulder-in before she got really mad... but poetry it most definitely was NOT!



July 7

I had a fun night last night, although my riding was really not where I wanted it to be.

M was booked for a lesson already, and was in fact being ridden when I got there, so I had a lesson on Lina. I'm feeling a lot more comfortable on her for the most part.

However... I skipped dinner. I was held up trying to get there by, first, my partner leaving me with NO gas in the car and us having to scramble to put some in there using the gas cans normally reserved for our generator. Then I had to wait for a train. Then I got stuck behind a delivery truck that was doing 10-15 km below the speed limit (in an area where most people do 15-20 above). So, no time to eat or even stop for a quick drive-through bite somewhere
. And I realized my entire diet that day, to that point, had consisted of 1/3 of a bag of fresh cherries, two portobello mushroom caps with cheese and pizza sauce, a few pieces of chocolate, and a lot of coffee. So, my car wasn't the only thing running on fumes by the time I got to my lesson.


We did some pretty straightforward WTC stuff and some trotting poles. Lina is extremely nimble and even when I didn't set her up right for the poles, she still managed to pick and bounce her way across them, and make up for the direction she lacked from me.

Early in the lesson we did quite a bit of walk to canter transitions, most of which went pretty well. We got a lot more wrong leads than we did the other day -- the other day I think we got them all correct -- but it wasn't too bad. I find her a little too easy to catch in the mouth unfortunately, but in my defense she has a habit of catching herself in the mouth a lot, so sometimes it's hard to say who's at fault.


Once we started trying to integrate a stretch of canter on the loop back to the beginning of the trotting poles, however, things got VERY sloppy. She decided she'd had enough cantering and got stiff and resistant and did the "screw you" trot instead of giving me a canter transition, and I lost some confidence in asking for the transition which made things worse. Ugh. There was a lot of running around in a big mess and losing our steering and breaking out of canter. And wrong leads all over the place. Not pretty. The lesson ended a bit early because I think it was pretty obvious that Lina and I were both frustrated and tired and there would be diminishing returns from that point on.


I hung out at the barn chatting with my coach and one of the boarders for about the next hour, then a student called to ask for an impromptu jumping lesson, so my coach's plan to ride her own horse weren't going to work out. Would I like to ride him instead, while she taught the lesson?


So, I did! I'd tried him twice before and was an absolute mess at the time. I hoped that this ride, after all the extra saddle time I'd put in over the winter, I'd be a lot more competent and confident. Welllllllllllll.... Walk and trot were fine. We had some abrupt unintentional downwards transitions as he tried to figure me out. My coach rides him 99% of the time so he's not exactly used to a change of rider. But we started to get a groove. And I didn't freak out when he got looky about stuff, which is big for me.


However...... cantering was a TOTAL bust. I think, at most, I got three consecutive strides before he would peter out again. His hip action in the canter was completely different than I'm used to, and I'm a bit embarrassed to say that I kept getting so unbalanced by the transition -- his big hip THROWING me out of the saddle and off-balance with the hind leg stepping under -- that just staying ON through it was a feat for me, never mind actually pushing him to STAY in it. I had actually cantered him a little bit in two lessons in the fall, but it was a pretty huge fail then too. Last night's was even worse.


By then, though, I was exhausted, STARRRRRVING, and my back was getting sore and tense, so it wasn't helping matters.

It's so odd. Some horses I have no problems in cantering in my first rides on them, while on others, it's like I'm riding a completely different animal. Some rides I feel like, yeahhhhh, I'm good at this! And other times I feel totally stunned by my lack of ability to do basic things. Siiiiiiiiiigghhhh.


It is what it is and I won't let it get me down -- riding is also about learning and improving -- but it's so strange, and so HARD, sometimes. I get to beating myself up for not being where I think I should be after three years back in the saddle. And sometimes I get better at something but there's this backsliding in my skills that'll happen and I'll lose it again. 


Oh well. I'll try to at least eat dinner first, next time!



July 11

Last night I went out to ride a horse I was riding regularly two seasons ago. He's a nice slightly older gelding, built like a tank. His background is primarily Western, but he's kind of had a little bit of vaguely everything done with him.

That season, I rode him English. I'm more used to it, it's the tack I had, and he went much, much better in contact and on a direct rein, with a bit, and with me in my own saddle.

Last night's ride was my first ride on him since last year, and his owner had switched him back to western tack and a VERY loosely fitted hackamore.


Well, he hadn't been ridden, except for a couple quick bareback rides, since last year. He was a very good boy from a safety standpoint. Wasn't hot, didn't do anything wacky. But he kept pulling me towards the other horse, towards the gate, towards the corner, etc., and he's never been great off leg aids for turning. And he doesn't really neck rein. And the hackamore... well, it did pretty much nothing. So I was a passenger of his whims. 


I still managed to enjoy myself at walk, jog, and trot, but cantering with no steering and questionable brakes, in a saddle I wasn't used to and that was far too large in the seat, did not go well. A few strides of me getting thrown around all over while he careening in some random direction. Or, on my last try, him suddenly accelerating because I couldn't rate his speed at all with the reins. I couldn't slow him, just stop him because the hackamore was all-or-nothing. And its "all" wasn't much.
He's always been tricky to canter well, but after my major canter fail on my last ride, too, I'm worried I'm going to develop a complex. However. Tonight I have a lesson scheduled on M, I think, so that will hopefully help me check back in with myself. Hopefully she's in good form tonight!



July 11

So, tonight began by being hilariously... magical?

Earlier today I thought to myself, maybe I should text my coach and confirm that we're still on for tonight. And then I thought, nahhhhhhhh, I wrote it on the whiteboard right in front of her and I'm sure everything's fine or she would have told me. I'll just go.


So as I pull into the driveway after my 40 minute drive, I see that M is already tacked up and being ridden in a lesson by her other regular student. So, I'm immediately somewhat irritated because I thought I had booked her specifically for this ride. (I don't usually care if I ride someone else, but it had been a long time and we had specifically discussed reserving her for me for that lesson.) I shrug it off and figure something must have changed, and walk into the barn and see that I had actually booked her for myself for TOMORROW night. Oh boy. Shoulda sent that text. Oh well, I get my gear on and figure I'll go grab Lina and just ride since I'm there anyhow.


I walk out of the barn and... am immediately handed M, fully tacked and warmed up ready to go. I WAS there on the wrong night, and the other woman had absolutely booked her lesson then... BUT at almost the exact time I pulled in, she was in the middle of deciding that her twisted ankle was too much and she was going to have to stop her lesson just 10 minutes in.


WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???


Best mistake ever or WHAT?


We worked on half halts and flexion. Unfortunately my reaction time is NOT great. So when my coach said outside rein, I was still shortening my reins. When she said inside rein, I was still just engaging the outside rein. When she said to back off the inside rein and straighten, I was still just starting to apply the inside rein. Oh boy. I am not exactly renowned for coordination or reaction time, but we sort of stumbled through it. We did start to get some roundness and flexion but M, who was already irritated because she thought her trip back to the barn to meet me was the end of her night, was NOT happy. Given her preference, she'd rather go around with her nose poked out as far as possible and your hands holding her head up for her. So she didn't appreciate the insistence on giving and softening. But we started to get moments of it, so that was a good feeling.


My sitting trot was decent though not quite as consistent as I like, but I was able to sit and follow quite well. My canter, however, was VERY stiff. Not surprising given the semi-humiliating canter fails in my last two rides. I was more or less expecting it. But I got the job done.


Funniest moment of the night: me saying "After last night, it's so nice to ride a horse with a good canter ag--!" and M IMMEDIATELY had a huge stumble.


Most unintentionally impressive moment of the night: M was getting annoyed and trying different evasions, and when I asked for a right-lead working canter on a right circle at one point... I got super collected left lead canter with a true right bend. "You just got THE hardest type of canter to get!!" LOL, go me??


We talked about my stiffness. I wasn't able to sit the canter the nice way I had been in the winter, with loose hips and a following lower back. In fact, my lower back has been incredibly locked up lately, and seems to be getting worse every ride instead of better. So I brought up the fact that I hadn't actually done any no-stirrups work since April, and that I *had* been doing it almost every ride then, when my seat was so much deeper and better.


So this was the BEST part of the night. I crossed my stirrups in front of the pommel and did some sitting trot where M stretched down and lifted her back and we just CRUISED around the arena. She was super, super into it. I don't know what it is about my sitting trot when it clicks, but many of the horses I ride seem to love it and go into this awesome mode where they really click with me and seek contact and round themselves. Even when it was bad. Even when I felt like I was bouncing like crazy. I don't know what it is. Anyhow... I definitely was NOT bouncing like crazy. All the tension on my back and hips and thighs unlocked, and I think all that muscle memory from me practicing so much over the winter and spring just suddenly clicked right back on. IT. WAS. AWESOME. We moved up into working trot, and into medium trot, and I still stayed with it all and had no bounce and no balance problems. My coach was carefully watching me for tension and would call out whenever one or both of my lower legs started to tense or clench in any way, and I'd immediately stop the problem before it got worse.


After a few laps and serpentines of this, I went back to walk to cool out and the benefits were immediately obvious, as my back and hips were unconsciously moving and rolling to follow every step. And I felt SO GOOD.


So I know what's on the menu for me now: no stirrups trot work any time and every time I can fit it into a ride!!!



July 13 

After the other night's breakthrough with my return to relaxed no-stirrups work, I was eager to get back out for a ride on M while I was still feeling that high and relaxation again.

This morning was quiet and beautiful, with a bit of cloud cover and a slight breeze, so much better weather for exertion. M was extremely relaxed, and stood completely still to be brushed and tacked -- except when I got at those mosquito bites on her neck with the soft curry glove I was using. Then she made happy faces and stretched her head and neck out and leaned into the scratches. I was happy to find my rubber curry glove again. I greatly prefer them to a standard curry comb. I think they do a much better job, and give the horse more of a massage. Plus having just the thin rubber between my hand and her skin means I can feel every bump and have a much better sense of whether a problem or change has popped up somewhere.


I started the ride just doing a bit of flexion left and right at the walk. I did it a lot more soft and relaxed than I did in the lesson, but also found she was much more willing today anyhow, so I didn't need to be as firm about it.


On the drive out there this morning, I had turned the seat heat on high in my car, even though it's pretty hot here and my AC isn't working. Why? Because it did seem to help to warm up and loosen up my lower back, which has been VERY very tight and tense lately. Whether or not this was the reason I couldn't say for sure, but my canter was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better today. I felt softer in my back and legs and could follow along. I had been riding like that for ages before the last month or so. I think that switching around to different horses kind of got me off my game, even though I think it's been extremely beneficial for other reasons.


We worked on lots of transitions within the trot, randomly changing between BIIIIIIIIIIIG trot and little itty bitty trot without breaking gait. She did wonderfully. We also did lots of transitions in and out of canter on a circle, with a flying change to change direction and work the other side. She broke from canter into trot a couple of times on me when I didn't ask for it. However, I had been trying to collect her a bit so in a way I did sort of ask for it -- just not for that! We'll get it figured out.
I wound up the ride with a nice loooooonnnng session of no-stirrups trot. My initial sitting trot wasn't quite the magical, smooth-as-butter experience that it was the other night, but still felt pretty great. I did have to keep her to a slower trot, and my balance was a little wonky right off, but we both settled into it. I also did a couple bigs laps each way, including a couple times crossing the diagonal, in no-stirrups rising trot. Definitely going to be feeling the burn later!!


So nice to have my lower back finally unclenching. I definitely need to keep up the relaxed no-stirrups work. When I was doing it every ride this past winter, I don't think I realized just how much it was contributing to the rest of my riding. Well, now I know!!



July 17

Today was a really nice, solo, relaxed ride. The sun was out but it wasn't too hot yet. No biting insects -- just the odd lazy fly hanging around. I put on bug spray as I tacked up, more out of habit than necessity. Elle stood very quietly, so relaxed her lower lip was dangling and she had floppy donkey ears. Once again, currying her neck got a big happy reaction as it scratched all her bug bites for her.

We had to go through some strands of temporary electric fencing to get out to the ring, and every time I stopped to undo a piece to get through, she took the opportunity to shamelessly snatch some bites of grass. More snatches of grass as I got things ready at the mounting block. She doesn't normally try for this, so I wasn't really on my game to stop her. It was sort of cute and funny as it was so out of character, really. And she just seemed so chill and happy that I was a bit indulgent about it, though I didn't let her grab and grass when it was time to DO something. Like, you know, actually get ON her. LOL.


I started by just walking her around with my feet out of the stirrups, swinging my legs a bit to loosen myself up. She perked up under saddle but was still a relaxed sort of "active" as we moved around. She seemed like she was just in a great mood the whole ride, which made me feel happy as well. I've been going early to ride lately, before work, and this was such a lovely start to my day. Life and work have been extremely stressful lately, so it was a much-needed cheer-up at the perfect time.
We moved from walk into a big rising trot on a fairly loose rein, letting her pick her pace and move without much interference from me. She was nice and forward and felt great. After warming up a bit this way we started on a lot of transitions. Rising trot, walk, sitting trot, walk, halt, back, etc., in a totally random order at random places. She was lighter in my hands today and also a bit better about doing downwards transitions from my thighs and seat. Still a long way from how responsive she was a few months ago, but again, she has more riders of different levels now so some loss of that kind of sensitivity isn't too surprising.


Canter was decent today. My seat wasn't as awesome as it was when I was riding 5 times a week, but it's still better than the jackhammering I was doing just over a week ago. Weirdly, I was better on the right lead and stiffer on the left lead. Normally I follow better to the left, so that was a change. Whatever. Bodies are weird. I'm just glad I'm getting softer with it again.


She was being so good and so pleasant that I did a bit of canter on a slightly longer rein. Hands low and wide and following softly. It was really nice. She gets so, so heavy in the bridle at times in the canter that I worry that I'm inadvertently relying on the pressure in the reins to keep my seat. Not what I want. So to be in the perfect kind of mood and relaxation to have a more relaxed contact was a very important opportunity on her. I'm happy to report that I kept my seat and balance juuuuust fine. I know myself well enough to know that I CAN do that, but due to bad experiences with horses taking off with me in the past, having a short and ready contact in the canter is like a security blanket for me a lot of the time. I still have a sensitive hand but I don't have a trusting hand, typically, so this was good mental as well as physical exercise.


I wound things up with even more no-stirrups work, again. Some rising trot for a lap or two both directions, then some sitting trot all over the place. I tried to do lots of little exercises to keep my brain distracted so my body had to relax. We did a tight four-loop serpentine that only went as far as centre line, a couple of times. Some loop-backs. Some changes across the half-diagonal. Etc. Once I felt nice and in sync with the motion we stayed on the rail, I loosened the reins a little and let her stretch while I concentrated on reeeeally opening my hips and lifting the front of my pelvic bone with my lower abs.


I got this absolutely wonderful sensation of my thighs hanging down in this extremely open way, like they were these huge weights that were holding me on and pulling me down either side of the horse, like they were so heavy and so secure that I couldn't possibly ever tip off. But not in a locked up way -- I was really moving with the motion. And M was moving into that openness, her trot getting bigger and more forward and I actually had to get a little LESS open a few times to slow her down. It was a really awesome feeling, one of the best I've felt in any sitting trot. Relaxed but strong. Really grooving along together. Love those times in riding where something really clicks and you can be fully present and revel in the moment.

Who would have known even a year ago that sitting trot with no stirrups would become one of my favourite and most transcendental parts of my riding???


July 27

I haven't ridden since last Thursday. When I did, I dragged my partner out and had him shoot some video for me. I hadn't seen much video of myself, except for the odd short clip, in about a year, so it was nice to see some really comprehensive video of my lesson.

What I liked:
-Lower leg is steady and strong, with the right amount of give and motion, and my toes are at good angle. Turned out a natural amount but definitely not duck feet. Given that I used to ride off the back of my leg with toes out almost completely sideways, things have definitely improved!!
-Geez I've gained muscle! Before I started riding again three years ago, I had gone through major stress from a move and starting a new business, and in that process I lost a ton of fitness and gained about 20 lbs, a lot of which was just belly and hip flab. While the number on the scale hasn't actually changed, my shape certainly has. I have way less paunch and I'm thicker in the major muscle groups. I didn't even know it was happening! Although the gaping waistband on my jeans today should be a clue.
-My back and core are visibly stronger. While I'd like to be following the motion even better than I am currently, it's obvious that I've gained a lot more strength in these areas and, while the motion could be more fluid, I'm definitely capable of holding and carrying myself instead of being smacked on the butt by the saddle while I thump around in trot and especially canter.
-My heels are naturally deep, but maybe even..... tooooo deep? I'm in a dressage saddle now but I've got some hunterish heels happening. I don't feel like I'm bracing into my stirrups. They don't feel too short. And my ankle flexion is really good with the motion dropping down the back of my leg when I rise in trot, drop in canter, etc. So... maybe that's just what works for me? I do have BIG feet so maybe the angle looks more dramatic because of that. 
-For the most part I look pretty straight and symmetrical, aside from a few things I'll mention below.

What I didn't like:
-Ugh, my hands are bobbing a LOT more than I would like. I worked on it for a while and it got better, but I've been less attentive about it lately because I took it for granted that they were better now. Sigh. Back to working on that now, I guess.
-I still have a tendency to tip forward in my transitions, at times. Depends how distracted and/or tense I am at a given time. Again, the old hunter brain is kicking in, I think, and it's like I want to get into a forward seat whenever it's "action" time. Not so useful when the "action" is a seated collected canter.
-My left elbow likes to show off. It's like "Hey, look at me! Here I am! I'm an elbow!!!" My right elbow prefers subtlety and stays nice and close to my side.
-My shoulders are *pretty* good, and not rounding forward, but I could really stand to lift my chest more and that would improve my upper body carriage in several ways.
-At times I'm dropping my left hip more than my right hip when I should be straight and level. By way of some kind of diagonal compensation, my right shoulder wants to push out to the right. This is not ideal. It's not DRAMATIC, but I should be balancing, not counterbalancing with my upper body as ballast.


So, for tonight's lesson, I'm going to try to remember tooooo...


-Lower, steadier hands!
-Flex my left elbow BACK, not out
-Try to notice if I'm bearing down on my left hip and pushing my right shoulder out to compensate. Try to do a bit of the opposite to correct it and then find centre.
-LIFT MY CHEST!
-And sit up straight and further back during transitions.


Because THAT'S all totally doable in ONE ride. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.



July 28

Wow, that was a WEIRD lesson, but a productive one.


We did all walk trot and worked on getting flexion from M and getting her in front of my leg. Her chiropractor has prescribed flexion and softening to deal with muscle stiffness in her neck, so like it or not it's for her own good. She's in absolutely wonderful physical shape right now and has made steady improvements over the eight months or so. Even though she's now approaching senior status she's practically aging in reverse!


However, she has a tendency to lock her neck up and brace against the bit and will fight her rider rather than give. Hence the "physio". So, last night's lesson was a schooling one...
Lots of half halts, flexion of her neck and poll, anything to get her to soften even a little. The more I asked, the more she would lock up and refuse to move forward. She's often ridden in mild spurs by her regular, advanced riders, but I hadn't had a pair of spurs on since I was 13. Well! My coach popped some on me to see if that would help keep her impulsion up, if necessary, while we worked on her front end... but I was so nervous about accidentally poking her that I kept my leg too much off of her. So, opposite of the desired effect...


My coach hopped on for a few minutes instead and had her flexing and moving forward almost immediately. That's why she's the one in charge, haha. She did say it was NOT easy, though, and M looked pretty unimpressed even though she actually did everything she was asking. She did settle into it after a few minutes. When I hopped back on I tried some side to side flexion of her neck and poll at a standstill and she gave quite easily. After that the ride was MUCH more productive.
It's hard to develop feel for something you've never had to do before, but I started to get the hang of timing things to ask for flexion on the sit of the trot, while also using my inside leg and seatbone to encourage her to bend and fill out the outside rein. I'm not sure which one of us actually worked harder. 


However, the feeling when it all clicked was very rewarding. She was very forward and felt powerful without feeling at all like she was running off. Every part of my body felt engaged and so did hers. Looking forward to this process feeling better and easier as we both improve at it!! I expect I'm going to feel quite sore very soon...



Monday, June 18, 2018

Fitness and attitude changes

I've lost fitness since this winter. Well, crap.

It's not exactly surprising. I've gone from riding four times a week down to riding maybe twice a week, on average. And I've been under a lot of stress that isn't exactly helping my body stay happy and supple.

I had finally cured the bounce in my canter on M, but in my last ride on her, it was back with a vengeance, though I warmed out of a lot of it. My right leg was doing it's weird weak/achy/numb thing again, that happens sometimes.

However, I was definitely experiencing some PMS so that might have contributed to some weakness/tension. So it's maybe not all loss of fitness. We'll see how things compare in the next few rides.

There have been some really good developments lately too, though!

For whatever reason, I'm a lot less nervous. Even from the first lesson back at the home barn, I'm feeling much more confident and secure. I'm not getting wigged out by the horse picking up a bit of speed at times. And most importantly, I'm not freaking out at spooks or potential spooks. I think the fact that a few spooks are happening now and then has actually been good for me, because it's shown me that, hey, they're not usually a big deal. And also that, hey, my seat is pretty good! My last ride on M, she spooked twice -- small spooks, but definitely spooks all the same. And my seat didn't budge, and they didn't wig me out. I just rode on normally.

I did adjust my plan somewhat, as it was late in the lesson and I was thinking of trying some canter on a loose(r) rein, or maybe some no-stirrups trot, but two spooks nearly in a row made me think... no, we'll just stick with more controlled stuff. Which I think was wisdom speaking, not fear.

It's definitely a relief, though, to not feel, every time, that SPOOKING = INSTANT DEATH.

So, that's a positive development!!

Also, my sitting trot on that same ride was REALLY good, even if my canter was bouncy and off. So that's great! I can get the canter back, I'm sure. The sitting trot has been a work in progress for a long time now, but I really started to focus on it this winter. I got a lot better with it before the move but it's continued to improve since, even though I haven't been able to ride as much.

So, that's pretty cool.

I can get the fitness back again. And it's nice that I'm gaining some things even if some things are backsliding a little. That's life, I guess.

Rainy spooky day -- conquered!

I've had a lot going on and, unfortunately, haven't been keeping up with my riding journal here the way I'd like to be. I'll do a bit of a recap of my rides over the last two weeks, in the next few entries, as there's stuff in there that I don't want to miss.

Not quite two weeks ago, I went out for just-a-ride on my usual lesson horse. I almost turned the car around part-way there, as there was definitely a storm brewing, and I even hit some patches of rain on my way out there. However, it was still okay when I got to the barn, so I tacked up anyhow and went to the ring to ride.

The sky was grey and the air was thick. There was definitely a system coming in. Just as I was about to get on some wind started up in the trees. Not a crazy amount, but it was more gusty than steady and I was having minor flashbacks to the day in November when similar weather turned this horse into a big spooky butt. However, I got on anyhow.

On our first lap of walk she spooked at absolutely nothing and did a little scoot forward, with the windy woods behind her, so I walked her about 50 feet further and, instead of trying to just ride it out like last time, I did what I SHOULD have done before, and hopped off and lunged her. Fortunately the equipment was all right there so I didn't have to trudge us both back to the barn.

I lunged her up at the "spooky" end of the ring, by the trees, and other than some very mild scooting forward in her first canters, and her wanting to come in on the circle and crowd me, sigh, she was fine. So, I got back on.

I stayed at the "safe" end of the ring and immediately went into some remarkably relaxed sitting trot -- remarkable that I was relaxed in the situation, mainly, haha. The footing was wet and a bit slippy, but conveniently the less spooky end of the ring was also the driest part.

I don't know if she was tired from lunging, or if she was taking the suggestion from me, but the gaits were all very slow, collected and SMALL. Which was fine by me, given the earlier spooky tendency! I rode a ton of transitions. She was super responsive. She slipped a bit once in canter and after that I just avoided canter in that part, and kept the canter we did very collected.

I was really pleased with how well she was carrying out all the transitions. And she was really sitting back and carrying herself in them. It was a powerful feeling. I'm not really one to power-trip, haha, but it did feel POWERFUL all the same to have such control. I tried something I haven't done, which was to try to count out exactly how many strides of canter I wanted before coming back down to trot. I got it some times. I missed it mostly, going a stride or two or even three over. But it was a cool exercise that I should do more of.

It started to drizzle. I kept riding. It felt kind of nice.

My favourite moment in the ride came when we had just been doing OODLES of transitions and I went to shift my seat at the walk... and she started doing this incredibly collected walking-speed canter, very up-and-down, carousel horse feeling. I actually laughed and said "What are you DOING?" I brought her into a walk again and gave her a pat. It was so funny and cute.

The ride wasn't long but it was productive and fun. I'm pleased with how I handled a less than ideal situation. What could have been a total bust, or a spooky anxious experience, turned into one of my favourite rides in the last little while.


A few missed posts

I've been keeping some blog entries elsewhere too, and haven't always been posting them to both places, so I'll put a few older entries here now to keep things together.

May 20, 2018

The other night, I had another lesson on the bouncy little Pintarabian. BOY do I ever find her difficult. I've been cruising around pretty relaxed, pretty confident, on the big warmblood I was riding all winter. I got to know her really well and got very tuned to her. We could read each other extremely well, and subtle aids and movements really started to connect.

But now, on this weird little short-necked bouncy hony? I am LOST. 


Which tells me that she's probably exactly what I need right now.


Where the big warmblood is like a freight train, big and long and low and running on a very STRAIGHT track, this little horse is high-headed, has next to no neck, and noodles around all over the place. She's responsive to leg aids and will bend nicely if you ask correctly, but it's NOT easy. Straight lines are... challenging...


My relaxation (of which there was not much) wasn't helped early in the ride when she decided one corner of the ring was spooky, and would only go past it by dropping her shoulder dramatically and turning her head almost completely sideways to the outside. She didn't actually spook, but the build-up was there and there was definitely "spooky potential." I will admit I gave that corner some space, from that direction, for a bit of the ride. Nothing "happened" but I wanted to keep it that way. At one point we could see something moving around in the bushes there, so possibly some turkeys or deer were rustling around. There was also a strange big booming noise coming from the nearby woods.


Let me take a moment here to say that it's actually rather BIG for me that I was -- relatively -- okay with all this. At some point, as a rider, I have become so afraid of spooking *as a concept* that I started to be more nervous, at the prospect, than most of the horses I've been riding. I'm not actually a nervous rider in an all-round sense, but if I'm in a situation where I think spooking has a high likelihood of happening, I am generally NOT OKAY. However, I know my coach trusts this horse and that she's done a bit of everything with her, so I had some faith in the horse but also in my seat and skills, and I rode through it. Repeatedly. And I did. Not. Freak. Out!!


So, that was pretty cool!


The canter work was slightly better this week. I only lost my stirrup the FIRST time I cantered her, hahaha. It was on the left lead again, but instead of losing my left stirrup, my right one shot to just the end of my toe. I'd have done better to let it drop but instead tried too hard to keep it and got dreadfully unbalanced. I precarious winged around one corner like that before bringing her back and trying again. We did lots of trot-canter-trot-canter-trot transitions to help me get used to her striking off, as she definitely goes SPROING in a way that I'm not used to, and was unbalancing me to some extent initially.


The balance issue isn't helped by how much narrower she is than the other horse(s) I'm used to riding. It took very little to find myself leaning on one stirrup or one hip more than I ought to, and my forwards/backwards balance (which is usually pretty solid) was tested a lot more than I'm used to, too.


Even if I'm mentally okay with exploring new things in my riding, my body has its own ways of protesting changes. My coach REALLY wanted me to relax and sit the canter, but my body was begging me to stay in a defensive half-seat while it tried to figure out what was going on!! 98% of the time I at least TRY to do what my coach asks me to, but this was a case where I just needed to do what I needed to do! I'm sure I'll get to a place where I can work on sitting it, but that was not the night for it!


Over all... it was pretty rough! But not quite as rough as the previous ride. So.


I can look at how hard I'm finding this, after feeling like I was really starting to NAIL things on my usual horse, and I can see it either negatively or positively. Negatively, I could tell myself that I'm not actually a good rider, and that even though it did take a LOT of work to get where I did with that horse (two and a half years!), that I didn't really get much better at riding. That I only got better at riding THAT horse.


OR. I can look at this as an extremely important learning opportunity to expand my horizons. If I can learn to ride BOTH these horses well, my ability as a rider will have a lot more range. I can also be happy that I'm finding new challenges to overcome. That I'm finding all kinds of new holes in my riding that I can fix in this situation -- holes that I could never have fixed on the other horse, no matter how much farther we progressed.


This isn't actually a permanent move away from my "usual" horse by any means, but she is being shown and partially leased, this season, by a woman who takes about four lessons a week and plans to show her, so her availability is much more limited. I'm sad, but I also don't have the time or money to have leased her instead myself. I'm sure the option would have been there, but it's not something I can do. A little part of me is jealous, but the much bigger, better part of me knows she's not "my" horse no matter how much I've ridden her. And I also know that I very much need to ride other horses now to progress. So, it's definitely bittersweet. But I can probably still ride her on a weekly basis, or so, so it's hardly something to get upset about.




May 27, 2018

So I accidentally skipped writing about my last lesson. It's been a busy, stressful week, and while it was a good lesson, it was pretty standard. Things that stood out: the normally easygoing horse -- I was back on the big warmblood schoolmaster I usually ride -- was being weird about one corner of the arena. The same corner the other horse had been weird about on the previous ride! Again, she didn't really "do" anything about it, but previously I would have been really wigged out by the potential for spooks. Instead I just rode through it and had faith in myself and my horse that it wouldn't turn into something that I couldn't handle. And it didn't! I'm getting a bit braver about these things. Baby steps!

Tonight I just rode. Not in a lesson. Again, back on the lovely big warmblood I rode all winter. It was super humid here, and the bugs were bad, so not totally ideal riding conditions, but I enjoyed myself anyhow and definitely didn't overdo it. Still, it was a good workout for both of us.

In rising trot I was aware of my upper body wanting to move a little too much, instead of letting my hips handle most of the motion, so I worked on that. I tend to tip more in rising trot when I'm nervous or when I'm trying to get a "going somewhere" pace happening. I think it's an instinctive thing. But it doesn't actually accomplish anything.

My sitting trot was hit and miss. I would bounce a bit. Then I'd get in a groove with it for a bit. Then I'd bounce some more. I had really been starting to nail it when I was riding more often, but now that I'm back down to once or twice a week I'm backsliding on a lot of my skill and fitness. It sucks, but it's unfortunately a fact of life for me right now. Ugh. Still, nothing will truly "undo" the work that I put in this winter. Even if I lose some of the physical fitness, I know what I went through to get there, and can hopefully get it back more readily the next time I have the opportunity to ride my butt off again like that.

Canter work had some pluses and some minuses. She wasn't very willing with it tonight, probably because the air was so hot and heavy. Her transitions into canter were actually great. Nice and snappy, and no running into them, which she is sometimes prone to do, especially on the first few tries. However, I was getting a wrong lead sometimes. Going to the right, she gave me the left lead twice instead. This hasn't happened in months, so that was a bit odd. But not a major thing. The GOOD news is that her flying changes tonight were like butter. Some of the best and smoothest and most balanced that I've ridden on her. Normally she only does them when she gets so awkward that she feels like she HAS to, and dives into them, leaning hard on the reins in the process. Tonight though, despite her not wanting to stay in canter for long, she gave them to me when I actually asked, and they were much more light and balanced! Score! It was so nice to just kind of cruise around the arena in big loops and swoops and just get that change at the right moment for the next curve. The changes were by far the highlight of the ride. I used to NOT be good or confident with them on her, so it's a wonderful improvement. Even if other stuff feels like one step forward and two steps back.

She definitely feels different now that I'm not her only rider, but that's to be expected. I do miss that "customized" feeling one gets as the primary/only rider of a horse. Now that different people of different levels are back taking lessons on her, she's not quite as tuned into every subtle little thing. Which is over all a good thing, really, given she does a lot of beginner lessons. But... *wipes tear*... It was so nice while it lasted!!! She's still wonderful though, and DOES respond to subtlety, don't get me wrong. But I do feel the difference.

Next lesson out, I'm going to take a lesson on yet ANOTHER different horse. This is another one that needs some tuning up, and that I can ride for free, so that's great for me! Hopefully I won't be quite as at sea on this one. I have ridden her once before, but it's been absolutely ages.

I've recently had a few helpful, positive thoughts about riding. Instead of beating myself up for how difficult I'm finding other horses, I need to remember that what I'm feeling is really just a small taste of how lost I was when I started riding again. In some ways riding a variety of different horses was less difficult for me when I re-started... because they were ALL difficult for me!! Now that I'm really used to one, I notice a lot more of what's different and what's "wrong" instead of just accepting that every horse is going to be different and that some have pretty steep learning curves. In some ways, horses are like musical instruments. And some are more different than others. A master cellist is going to have a hell of a time trying to play a violin, no matter how good they are at the cello. I'm NOT a master, but I am certainly much more skilled on one "instrument" than I am others. And that's to be expected because 98% of my practice has been on that one!



June 4, 2018

I had a lesson the other night, again on the big warmblood I know so well now. It was a good ride and a productive lesson. I'm actually pretty sore from it -- the good kind of post-workout sore -- which hasn't happened in a while, so I know I worked hard!

It's funny, I can't actually fully remember what we worked on specifically. I mainly remember feeling good in the ride. We did lots of walk/trot transitions to get the horse a bit more on the ball. Trot serpentines, extensions, canter work with some lengthening down the long sides, with a 15m circle in the corner to collect her back up, and then proceeding at a regular working canter to the next long side. Repeat.

I also figured out why I've occasionally been getting the wrong lead on the right rein lately. I just haven't been pushing her ribs out enough into the bend. It isn't usually a problem but it comes up now and then, so it's great to know the fix!

My seat was being mostly on good behaviour. The bounce I was having in my canter last week was gone again, thankfully, except in the extended canter -- which I'm not used to. Putting on more leg, plus the bigger motion, plus just the unfamiliar feeling had me popping up a bit, though not as dramatically as I used to while nervous at canter, so that was a lot better!

Our downwards transitions aren't as lovely as they were towards the end of the winter, when I had been the only one riding her for months, but it's not surprising now that she's back in regular lessons with multiple riders of different levels. They still feel pretty good though. I do have to work a little more at them than I had been though. By the end of the winter, it just took a slight stillness in my seat to immediately bring her down a gait.

On the topic of other riders on her... I actually got a really nice compliment from my coach. She said she wants me riding her as much as possible because I really help keep her tuned up, and she feels like she doesn't need to be putting tune-up rides on her herself with me riding her regularly. Apparently I've been really making her carry herself well and she's very happy with my progress and the horse's current fitness and responsiveness.

I also had a good conversation with her about me feeling like a bit of a mess on other horses. She says most of the "problems" I'm having are in my own head and coming from a lack of confidence, and that I need to trust myself more. And also be more forgiving of the fact that of COURSE every horse is going to feel different, and to allow myself the time to adjust and get comfortable. I'm going to do a lesson on a different "new" horse in the next couple of weeks, too, so we'll see how that pairing goes, too. In the meantime I think I'm going to try some visualization exercises I've been learning about, trying to retrain my brain and body to have more helpful responses when I do end up on a different horse. Will see how that goes.

Monday, May 14, 2018

Tonight I went out and put in my first "non-lesson" ride since the horses returned to their regular summer barn. It was warm and sunny, and I rode late enough in the evening that I missed the heat of the day, so it was *almost* a comfortable ride....... except for the flies that were really into swarming right in my, and the horse's, face. About 30 seconds into the ride, one flew up my nose and has yet to come out again.

I was on my usual big easygoing warmblood lesson horse, the one I rode all winter. She was a bit bothered by the flies, and a bit tired from an earlier lesson in the day, but she was a good sport about everything, and the flies really dropped off once we got moving. She was a little on the pokey side tonight, but did everything I asked and didn't fall out of her gaits at all. I used to lose her canter constantly -- and I mean CONSTANTLY -- so she and I have both come a long way with that. I'm also no longer afraid to tap her back up with the whip if I need to, which helps, though in hindsight I don't think I had to touch her with it at all tonight.

To clarify, when I say I was previously "afraid" to use my whip to reinforce my leg, what I mean was, I used to assume that the error was always mine as a rider, and would err on the side of not using the whip as I didn't want to tap the horse for my own shortcomings. Now, I'm much more confident about timing with it when it IS needed, though I'm sparing with it still and only use it enough to get the job done.

I worked on sitting trot quite a bit tonight, and it was really clicking. I had a bit of bounce at first as I shifted my pelvic angle around trying to find that sweet spot, but once I was there everything was nice and loosey goosey and my bum didn't leave the saddle at all. I was even able to maintain it at a not-painfully-slow trot, so that was cool! All that practice, thumping around over the winter (sorry, horse!) is finally paying off. I don't feel like I have to FIERCELY CONCENTRATE to keep it all together anymore. It's coming to me a lot more naturally, though I still have off days, and I do have to make frequent adjustments.

The canter work was decent. She was a bit stiff to one side, which isn't unusual for her, especially when she's tired, but unfortunately we did end up in a bit of a "stiffness loop," as feeling the stiffness in her was making me tense up a bit as the movement felt a bit different. We weren't as good at staying properly on the track in that direction, but I focused more on the movement itself than on precision steering. My right leg kept wanting to creep forward on me, which was an old problem I had when I was just starting back into cantering again. Every now and then it pops up again. Don't know why, and fighting it doesn't really help either, but I've learned to ride through it and just shrug it off as a "thing."

However, that aside, we did do some pretty nice 15 and 10 metre circles at both canter and trot! I did a 15m circle canter figure 8 with a flying change, twice in each direction, and she stayed balanced through it, the circles stayed pretty round, and she gave me the lead change when I asked for it instead of just when she felt like it!

We wound things down with more sitting trot, and did some serpentines. By now I was really warmed up and so was she, so she was easier to sit to and it felt great.

I also worked on using mostly my seat muscles to collect her trot, which was a fun exercise. I'm still not sure how to break down exactly *how* my body is telling her to collect but stay trotting, but whatever it is, it seems to be working. A combination of a very slight blocking with the seat, and a shortening and repeated slight half-halts with the hands, while keeping my leg on to keep the "gas pedal" on and keep her in the gait. Conversely, to extend, I open my hips and knees, let my seat completely go with the flow, add leg and have a giving hand.

It's so very cool to ride such an adjustable horse, and one who's such a good sport. She's chill enough to carry total beginners and very small children, but has the training to keep allowing someone to "unlock" different aids with her. As my riding has progressed, I've gotten more and more out of her that was there this whole time. I just didn't know how to access it!

After all that, I walked her back to the barn, and my coach said "Oh, did you give up because of the bugs?" Haha. All that and I guess I had been riding for MAYBE 25 minutes? I guess I packed a lot in, because it FELT like a long ride!

In summary: my body was doing some funky canter stuff, but it still got the job done, and my sitting trot was some of the best I've ever ridden on this horse! Even though it wasn't as "OMG YES" as Friday's ride was (I still haven't recapped that one -- oops!!) it was really satisfying, and I've come such a very long way!!!

Friday, May 11, 2018

Man, what a ride!

I just had a super stressful week, with work eating up just about every waking minute of my life. I kept trying to get out to ride, but invariably the work day, and/or other obligations, and in one instance weather... would conspire to get in the way. 

I wasn't sure how tonight's lesson would go, as I hadn't ridden since last Saturday, and have abruptly gone from riding four days a week for most of March and April, to abruptly cutting back to once or twice. BUT! It was so good!

My body usually fights me after a tense week, but tonight I think I was so pumped to FINALLY get to ride, it decided to really cooperate. I was super limber, strong when needed, felt balanced and my seat just felt so "on" that it was like I was part of the saddle.

It's late here now, and I'm sitting on my tired butt eating a bunch of Haagen Dazs brownies and cookie dough ice cream straight from the container while my partner is dead asleep in the other room. I really do want to recap the ride properly though, so I think I'll revisit that tomorrow at some point.

I will say briefly though that I did sit a spook and totally just went with it, physically and mentally. That's actually HUGE for me, because I tend to be a bit of a nervous rider. But no, she spooked at a LEAF. On the GROUND. It wasn't even moving. And it was so bizarre from this unflappable horse, that the instructor and myself just laughed at her about it and we carried on. I was, amazingly for me, in no way traumatized by it.

Saturday, May 5, 2018

It's easy to be humble...

...when you've spent the entire winter riding one horse consistently (aside from those two Paso rides) and then try a new one of a completely different size and shape, and find yourself mysteriously and completely losing one of your stirrups in canter.

Specifically the left lead canter, and the left stirrup. Point in my favour, though: I was able to carry on quite well without it, and actually got it BACK once!

Anyhow, getting ahead of myself. So. This summer, there are two lesson horses at my barn that need a bit of post-lease rehab from having another barn's beginners bombing around on them and letting them move like strung out giraffes. Both have picked up some bad small habits, none of them dangerous, but that need to get sorted out. One is recovering from a minor injury and can only have very short, light rides right now. The other is fine but needs to start carrying herself better under saddle. So, tonight I rode that one.

I normally ride a big warmblood with a wide barrel, long back, long neck, low head carriage, and who is a pretty level ride. Tonight's horse was a small, narrow, springy, short-necked short-backed Pintarabian. My usual horse rides like a train, pushing straight and smooth and powerfully forward. The little horse tonight was like riding a little deer. Still nice but SO different! Which is actually GREAT because I worry that riding only the same horse all the time is going to make me a bit complacent and start overestimating my abilities. Nothing is more humbling as a rider than trying a different horse and suddenly feeling completely at sea!

However, I didn't feel COMPLETELY at sea by any means, so that was a good sign. I found trying to gauge how she was moving, and how quickly, was quite difficult because I had no point of reference from any previous lessons on her for what "her" working trot, canter, etc are supposed to feel like. So I listened to my coach (I do that, yes I do!) and adjusted accordingly.

She did a lot of wiggling her head around, and tossing it, and the longer I rode the more dramatic her head tossing became. (This was apparently an evasion tactic with the beginners.) I was having a bit of trouble working with it at first, but developed two strategies that helped. One was to take up the random slack in the reins by widening my hands instead of constantly readjusting my rein length, which was getting a bit ridiculous. The other was, as her head tossing got more dramatic, to stop really thinking about her head at all and just ride her from her back end forward, if that makes sense. That was actually helpful on several levels because it helped make my seat feel immediately stronger and more independent, and it made me semi-tune-out the fussing happening in front of me and think of the bigger picture.

My leg was really ON tonight, and even though I was riding in a different saddle than I'm used to, as well, I felt very secure. I was in a jumping saddle instead of a dressage saddle, so did have to ride shorter to be effective (and in hindsight should probably have ridden even shorter. Maybe.). I saw some photos after the ride, and was pretty shocked to see how DEEP my heels were. But that wasn't all of it. My whole leg felt engaged and like it was working to support me. My hips weren't as open as they are in the dressage saddle, but that's to be expected. I really did feel all my muscles working together to support me and to get the job done.

What needs improvement: my right leg seemed to be moving a lot to try to be effective, whereas my left leg was just kind of quietly there, but still on and strong. My feet wanted to come forward on me, especially in canter! I think that's maybe why I was losing that left stirrup on the left lead, but I'm not exactly sure. My coach said that something about that horse's stride does tend to want to push your leg forward so it wasn't just me. She also told me that my heels weren't coming up and I didn't seem to be shortening my leg on that side, so actually losing the stirrup was pretty bizarre. I lost it three times that direction, haha! But my seat was ON tonight and I just kept riding without it. And I actually got it BACK once! Woohoo! But immediately started to lose it again... There was a LOT of sand and grit on my boot soles tonight, so that might have been part of the problem, but I think it was probably 90% something I was doing (or not doing).

I was also a little bit tippy side to side at moments. Not in a major way, to where I lost my balance, but it snuck up on me! I think that came from not being used to a narrow horse. My legs and hips and body were a bit confused. Less bearing surface, haha.

All in all, though, a good ride. Very cool to have a new and so very DIFFERENT horse to ride regularly! I might actually start to get well rounded. :O

A great takeaway from tonight: I'm starting to feel like my seat is getting strong enough that if a horse I was on WERE to do something a bit wacky or act up a little, I could keep my seat and just ride it out. Not that I'm seeking out scenarios to test that any time soon. ;) Still, it's a great feeling!

Thursday, May 3, 2018

Yesterday I had my first ride of the season back at the "home" barn, in the outdoor arena.

Now, one strange effect of riding in the indoor arena all winter, in the DEAD QUIET, was that every single noise stood out, and the horses were jumpy at even tiny changes. The horse I leased over the winter is normally pretty bombproof, but even she had some small spooks at sudden noises in the extremely still arena. My last outdoor ride on her had been on a VERY windy day, and it had been the only time I really thought I was going to fall off of her, in two and a half years of riding her, as she was spooking and sort "pinging" randomly around the arena. Very out of character, and at one moment I had felt that sort of swell of tension in her body and had that "Oh crap here we go" feeling that a shy and bolt was going to happen. And while it DID happen, it was short-lived and I stuck it out, but it left me jumpy and rattled for quite a while after that. It's funny. In a horse that's normally spooky I think it would have shaken me less, but in her it was so sudden and strange that I carried a worry for a while that she might spook in a zero-to-one-hundred way at some point that I wouldn't see coming.

However. She hadn't done a single BIG spook since.

So, I was actually feeling pretty good about yesterday's return to the outdoors. However, the afternoon started to have some bad weird weather, with -- oh boy -- big random gusts of wind coming through. A perfect copy of the weather that had set her off outside the last time. I thought about cancelling but decided to just wait and see. And, PHEW, by the time my lesson was about to happen, it had all cleared up and was totally pleasant (if humid) out!

I hadn't ridden since Friday, and this would at one time have been a perfectly normal span between rides, but as I was riding four times or more per week over the last month and a half, I did notice some stiffness after that gap. It didn't help that I just started running again this week for the first time since January, and my legs were still sore from that. However! The ride went, and felt, much better than expected. For some reason I was REALLY pushing for a fast trot, and clucking a lot when I'm normally actually a pretty quiet rider. I kept having to be told to bring her back a bit, when it's usually the opposite with me. The horse felt very different this ride -- not just my stiff body -- and it was interesting what a bit of time off, a change of scene, and the reintroduction of a couple of other riders into her schedule had done to how she felt. I had been the only one riding her for months, so we were very tuned in to each other. Maybe a little too much, as I think it's good for both horse and rider to change things up a bit!

We rode over some poles at the trot, and I was stiff enough that I actually had to go up a hole from my usual dressage saddle length as I just wasn't draping quite as long as I usually do when I'm really relaxed and open in my hips. My coach's advice is to "ride the best you can with the body you have" on a given day, though, so up went the stirrups and I rode in a slightly lighter seat. My canter seat -- which had been so much more open in the hips and following so much better lately -- was wanting to bounce, so I let myself float above it a bit instead and let a lot of the motion drop down into my heel (keeping your advice in mind, DDN, thanks!!) and was able to still ride pretty well despite my tired body fighting me. I managed to do it without popping right up into a half seat, which would normally have been my default on a stiff day. My old hunter lessons frequently kick back in (involuntarily) despite the fact that I haven't had one in nearly 20 years!

We also did a lot of canter work, including quite a few transitions, and some 15 and 10 meter canter circles. My canter to walk transitions were not so great as my body wanted to post the one or two strides of trot that would slip in there, which didn't exactly help. We also did some flying changes on a figure eight, and my recent failure at staying in counter canter had taught me that a much lighter ask for the change was enough, and those went a lot more smoothly.

Riding in the humidity, plus my tired post-run legs, made me feel like I was having much more of a push ride experience than I think, in hindsight, that I actually was. Still, it was really interesting to feel the difference being back in that ring again after so much riding this winter. I felt so much better, more in control (even though my steering wasn't amazing -- but I think I just need to relearn my spatial awareness in there, as my steering was pretty spot on all winter). My body is so much stronger and more balanced now.

And despite my stiffness, my sitting trot was actually really good! Go figure. Bodies are so strange.

I also got some good news, in that I can continue with my usual horse this season for a very reasonable fee, AND ride two of the less-used lesson ponies for free, to tune them back up. I also have access to a nice Western horse, at a different barn, that I can put some rides on for free. All in all, it seems I will be rolling in ponies this year!

Friday, April 27, 2018

I recapped elsewhere but forgot to actually update here! Oops! Here's Tuesday's update:

Today was a GREAT ride!


Whatever the "something" in the air was yesterday, everything was fine this morning and the mare was back to her usual self. I lunged her first just to see if she had any reaction to the door and she didn't care a bit.


She was well warmed up from the lunging, so I mainly focused on canter work. She's an older horse and had gotten a little out of shape last year, but this winter she's put on lots of muscle and is looking fantastic. "The best she's looked in a few years" according to her owner, so that's great to hear. As she's gotten stronger she's had more balance and stamina in the canter. I did a pattern each direction: one full lap, then a second lap with a 15m circle at the top, a 20m circle in the centre, and a 15m circle at the far end. She nailed it and sustained the canter throughout. I also did some pretty tight trot serpentines to keep her moving through those turns.


My canter seat has really improved with the amount of riding I've been doing lately. Whereas even a couple weeks ago, I had a bit of bounce one way, I'm actually able to sit deep and stay there both ways now, most of the time.


And here's today's:

Today's ride was pretty okay? I was in a wretched mood today, and unfortunately I have trouble leaving Life Stuff outside of the riding ring. Even if I'm able to push it away mentally, it creates tension in my body and things just don't feel quite right. Even if I'm technically riding fine, I feel "off." Today was one of those. Plus I hadn't ridden since Tuesday, and even though two days of not riding would have sounded like nothing to me before, I've ridden so much lately that it felt like "time off" that I didn't really want to take.

And from a technical perspective, today I really wasn't quite as "fine" as usual. My sitting trot, which has been improving lately, was so stiff I could actually feel myself catching air time in the saddle. Not good. I was able to use the muscles in my seat and thighs to cushion the blows so I wasn't actually thumping the horse hard in the back, but having to do that also interfered with softly following with my seat, so it became a bit of a vicious loop.

My canter seat was following fine though, and staying soft and active, which was interesting. The canter work was decent today, if very pokey, but she STAYED in canter (with one notable exception that I'll describe further on). My upwards transitions were a bit messy. I did both trot to canter and walk to canter. She would lift her front end nicely to step under, and at the same moment I'd be caught leaning forward and the reins would go slack for that first moment. Not particularly elegant, but I was fine every time once we were actually IN canter. Really need to work on those upwards transitions. Our downwards transitions have been great -- probably aided by her tendency to want to poke along lately. :/ 

I had lunged her first, in some elastic side reins as she tends to sort of shuffle along and not carry herself well if she isn't given some incentive now and then. But I think what limited energy she had today was spent before I got on her. She's been in heat all week, and AGGRESSIVELY sidling up to the boys in the paddock! I think by today it had taken a lot out of her. Still, even though she wasn't forward in her gaits, she STAYED in them quite well for the most part.

I did have one moment of "Oh no you DIDN'T!!" with her. Often, in the first bit of canter, she'll have to tug her head down to get a good cough or two out of her system, and then she's good to go. (Just an allergy thing that crops up sometimes, and exercise seems to set her off a bit.) And even though she had gotten some of her coughs out on the lunge today, I felt her suddenly plunge down during one of our first canters of the ride, so I let the reins slip so she could cough it out... And there was NO cough!!! She punked me! Reefed the reins right out of my hands and dropped into a sedate trot. SMART horse! If that's her being "naughty" then I'm very, very lucky to be riding such a nice horse! ;) And I am!

Today was my last ride up at the winter barn with the nice indoor arena, before they're moved back home for the season. I won't be able to ride nearly as much now, but I have come away from this winter a much better, stronger rider -- today's stiff ride aside. (I really do wish today's ride had been another AMAZING ride like Tuesday's but we all have our days!) And it's made me a better horse person, with all the handling and feeding I've done over this winter. It's been really lovely, as much as it's also been very hard work. I'll miss it, but I'll also enjoy having my mornings back!